Dude, where’s my food?

I went to a Chinese restaurant over the weekend for dinner with some friends. The waiter we got was Chinese and we’re not, so there were some misunderstandings between him and us. The word he used the most was, “Huh?” When I gave my order, he looked at me TOTALLY CONFUSED for a few seconds, then wrote something down. We eventually got our orders and stuffed our stomachs with the amazing food and at the end, I couldn’t finish my meal so I signalled for the waiter to come. When he came, he looked prepared to listen very intently to what I was going to say…he leaned over half the table and stared at me…it was a bit uncomfortable…I said, “Can I have this to take away?” (x3 because he didn’t understand the first two times). He then said, “Yeah yeah!”. I handed him my plate and he went into the kitchen. About 10 seconds after, I saw him come out of the other side of the kitchen with nothing in his hands. So I thought, ok…he probably asked someone else to pack it for me and that’s not a problem. As long as I get my food, I’m happy. One of my friends saw him and said to me, “Are you sure he didn’t throw it away?” Those were the worst words ever! Throw away my food? I love food! I need food! I was going to eat the leftovers for lunch the next day! One of my best friends once said that her mom told her that if you throw away any of your food, you’ll have to eat it when you go to Heaven! (I wouldn’t mind that cuz I’ll be in Heaven for a lonnnnggggggggg time!!!) The waiter passed again and I hailed him out and said, “What did you do to my food? Did you throw it away?” Again, the look of total confusedness. “I wanted it to take away.” Total confusedness (confusement sounds soo much better but it’s not a word) . “Did you put it in a box?”, ” Ohhhh, you wanted it?”, “Yes I did!”. He then walked off and went into the kitchen. Twice after that, he passed me and didn’t even mention anything. No apology, no “You can have your meal free.” Nothing! I eventually got replacement food. They cooked up a little of what I had ordered and gave it to me.

For those who are wondering, the food was fresh food. They didn’t take it out of the garbage. Lol. I checked! The rice and meat (pork and duck) were clean (i put sauce on the old one) and they were hot. BUT, if it did come from the garbage….what doesn’t kill fattens (that’s my life motto).

I can now add ‘a waiter threw away my food’ to the list of abnormal things that happen to me.

On that same day, I saw three people slip and almost fall and only one of them was because the floor was wet. Lol. I laughed alot…..soo mean….

Love, Lee

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Over-the-phone Shopping

I have a Banquet to go to later this month and I have nothing to wear! I want to look good (obviously) but I don’t want to buy a dress (cuz i’m cheap like that). So I sat and thought about it….how can I get a dress for free? Then it came to me! I’ll call my mom!!! My mom has two dresses that I always loved and wanted to wear! So we talk on the phone and this is part of the conversation:

Me – Mom, mail me the nice blue dress that you have and the black one with the orange flowers in front!

Mom – Honey, I have those dresses since 19-o-long!!! You can’t even find the material they used to make that! They don’t sell it anymore!

Me – But I like those dresses! I wore the black one before I came to Canada (3 yrs ago).

Mom – Wait wait wait. What blue dress you talking about?

Me – The one you wore to Stacy’s wedding.

Mom – But Lee-Ann, Stacy got married FOURTEEN YEARS AGO!!!!!

Me – Soooooooo!!!!!!!! I always wanted that dress!

Mom – It’s yours!!!!!!! When you reach thirty, if you still want it, I’ll give it to you.

Me – Just send the dress nuhhhhh!

Mom – Lee-Ann, honey, I will go and buy a nice dress for you, and I’ll send a rap skirt for you to wear during the Summer.

That’s how you shop ladies!!! I still want those two dresses though. They’re old…no…they’re vintage (sounds better), but I love them.

 

Love, Lee

MIAnge

Soo, i haven’t posted anything since…well scroll down! Soo sorry for my hiatus. I find hiatus to be a funny word! HI ATE US? Maybe it’s just me! So done with school…dreaming & excited of good things in my future. In the meantime, I remain to still be prone to funny moments…I can’t run away from them…or can I?

Well, yesterday was quite a lovely day, so I went for a walk with a friend (actually grocery shopping, but who cares, and it is irrelevant to the juiciness at hand!) So, walking home in the beautiful sun, that makes your face glow, and gives you warm fuzzy feelings, a bird, or rather a goose seems rather intrigued with us.  Naturally, we stop and stare at it. Well, it stares right back and gives us two rather intimidating quacks, and finally…the hissssssssssssssssssssss. As all Kenyans would do in this situation, I ran! My friend, and I ran as we heard it running after us, and I am sure I saw it’s wings open. OH DEAR! Suddenly I had an image of it, running after as, then taking off, them somehow karate kicking our heads, which would send us into a slow motion fall. NO, he ran a few steps and probably got a bit winded- see, he had been eating all Winter 😛

That’s the last time I make eye contact with a goose! Question: If he did try to hurt us, could we fight back in defense?  Would that be grounds for deportation? People from PETA would probably pop up from the woodworks and start hissing at me. Hmmm…

-ANGE

Goodbye Songs

Last night, Ange and I were looking up and practicing some songs to sing at a function later this month. We were looking specifically for goodbye songs since we’ll be saying goodbye to someone dear to us. It’s amazing how you can start thinking about something and end up thinking about something totally different! For example, you’re studying for an exam and you think about how boring your last class was, but luckily you had that pack of skittles that just brightened up that hour. When you remember the skittles, you automatically think, ‘taste the rainbow’ and then you picture the advertisement on tv. TV!!!! When is Glee starting back? I wonder what songs they’re going to sing…hmmm…I’m gonna listen to some of their music and while doing that, I might as well check Facebook! And there goes your LIFE!!!! Or just your evening. Whichever.

So something like that happened to Ange and I last night. We started off working on two songs and changing lyrics here and there to make it appropriate and funny. Then we thought about the song Lean On Me by Bill Withers. After looking it up on Youtube, we clicked on the Michael Bolton version and we sailed off on cloud 9!!!! Have you guys heard that man sing? *Sigh We went from happy, i’ll-be-here-for-you-cuz-thats-what-friends-do songs to ‘How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?‘ (which is TOTALLY inappropriate since we’ll be singing to a priest). It’s always too easy to get distracted especially when it involves a chiseled man with an amazing voice!

 

Anyways, just like how studying can lead you to thinking about Glee, it lead me to writing this post. Back to the books for me (i just thought about Back to the Ground, Jamie Cullum, concert last year, iTunes, Facebook…..everything leads to Facebook…).

 

Love, Lee

P.S.   If you’re a chiseled guy and you can sing like Michael Bolton, please contact us asap.